I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
