Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize