A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
