Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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