i'm signing you up for texting rehab
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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