We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
