walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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