i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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