I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
