She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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