I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
