We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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