Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize