ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
