I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
