You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
