she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
