i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
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no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
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I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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