i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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