Umm I'm too high to move.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
