why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
