fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
