stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize