last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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