im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
