Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I am midnight drunk by noon
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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