We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
