i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
id be glad to
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
