Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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