Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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