so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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