dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
