a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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