We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
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