I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
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We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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