i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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