Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize