somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
