you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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