I think scott just propositioned me for sex
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
