I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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