Don't make out with my wife yet
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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