Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
love makes seman taste better
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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