But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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