I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
