Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize