for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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