You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
