I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
