Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
