So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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