Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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