I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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