You're completely useless in the revolution.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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