If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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