nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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